YOU

For me it wasn’t your smile, or your big dark eyes or even the way you speak. 

It was the kindness in your eyes that silently screamed - 

“Everything is going to be ok.” 

I booked myself a table at your heart permanently.

You and I are a thing.

A complex thing that Netflix would call “a slow burn”.

We walked miles, made some memories – rainbows and sunshine. 

We made mistakes together, we healed together. 

And we built something we can proudly call home, someone whom we can called home. 

 

Always chin up,

Always remember to smile.

For there will be days when you may doubt. 

Then, do remember that you are an uncut diamond waiting for a shine. 

 

Like the mountain that doesn’t move, however strong the storm,

We will be there by you,

In our family, that is the norm!

 

There are battles to win and monsters to defeat.

The balance sheet might not always tally. 

But with the ship so sturdy and the captain so skilled, 

Who fears a rough sea? 

 

Somedays I hold the chord, you bear the weight.

Other days I keep watch and you guard the gate. 

We fight side by side. 

The love and respect you incite is intoxicating. 

You are the one.

The most important person in our lives. 

Happy Birthday. 

 

Love Mihii and Chander ki mummy

 

We Tried

Just like the weather, we changed.

From a sunny, warm, glistening afternoon

to a damp, cold and dark one. 

From busy messenger notifications

to blank stares at the mobile screen. 

Fleeting smiles while typing replaced by frequent 'last seen' checks. 

Even planned changes seem abrupt, instant, and permanent. 

We struggled. We climbed. 

We reached a point where apologies and gratitude meet. 

But we were never meant to be. 

You are no longer my fight. 

For the  times you have nursed my wounds,

laughed with me and held me in your arms. 

I wrapped it up and put it in a box and stored it somewhere in the attic with care. 

If you ever think of me on a day like this when the weather changed rapidly,

do know that We Tried. 

Red Lipstick

I swept the red lipstick on my lips;
crimson wax covered every crease, every corner.
It will last long they said,
longer than the scars ?
For today my eyes failed to see the beauty;
only a blazing inferno.
Fiery, tired and hungry veins,
carrying the carefully crafted recipe of my blood.

Envy, rage, pride, lust fury -
there was not enough room for my dreams.
So, it oozed out of my veins, thrown out of my body.
But it didn't flow, instead it hardened
like the flexible wires used in packing toys-
the dual purpose of restrain and display.

Happy people are beautiful , incite warmth;
the way fire attracts moths - Their fate well known.
I looked for a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow.
All I found was a corrupt mountain top infected with mediocrity.
That which inspired some to climb, and some to jump. 

Did I tell you I changed my name?

Of the times you had let your coffee turn cold; staring at normal things,
of the times you had felt a tsunami of emotions; but didn't fail to smile,
of the times you knocked your elbow at that insignificant shelf; paralysing but a transient pain,
of the times you feared feeling nothing; so pretended to feel something or anything,
of the times that everyone thought it was easy; but your blood and sweat complained

I was there beside you , hallucinating of a wall.
Delirious but accepting.
Did I tell you I changed my name?

Just another day

Its just another day,
just another dusk
I borrowed some memories of warmth
to combat the winter chill
If only I could wrap your hand in mine,
you would know,
Its not just the cold hands wanting to be warm. 

Unknown Promise

In an unknown moment of truth

Under an unknown canopy of blue,

You borrowed myself from me

And lent yourself to me.

Why do eyes promise when words don’t?

Like birds that sing with alacrity,

And the limitless glee a drop called dew incites;

there are so many things that happen without a reason.

You had become the reason once.

In an attempt to forget I vividly remember...

Like the flash that blinds, but you see it even after it’s not there.  

I was Cinderella once, but no one found my shoe.

The intricate branches of my veins carry something strange.

It’s warm but green.

I pierced it hard, but it would not ooze out.

That’s the thing that buzzed my ear one morning and said

“Your eyes had promised, but your words didn't” 

DREAM

Amid the dirty souls that swarmed by
Amid the blaring horns and flood light
Along the perfectly painted pavement and the yellow flowers
I saw your blurry face;

I did not know u but surely did recognize

U had promised me a lot of things
U had promised to wipe out the sins.
U told me, u would pick me up when I am lost
But I had to lose myself to get solace in your heart.

I don't know you but sure I do recognize

A ripple of warmth enveloped when I thought you held me;
Then reality touched, like it touched many a times before
Your touch suddenly felt so insipid, ugly and banal
I gulped down a dose of the diabolic sophistication.

My gratitude, it was a dream.
My repentance, it was just a dream.
Is a sanctimonious gentleman better than an innocent barbarian?
Learn and learn, let the innocuous soul burn.

I am a product of the civilized world
A duty bound torch-bearer taking forth the legacy
But if I ever recognize, if I ever get to know,

What will I do with the ocean full of virtual time
that as a burden you present to me?